we’re not true friends until i’ve harassed you to watch a TV show i’m watching

(via hotguysandpizza)


My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…”

I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like flies” and made a disgusted face.

She hates flies.

(via hotguysandpizza)

I’m!! So!! Tired!! Of!! Everything!! Being!! My!! Fault!!



FACT OF THE DAY:  zebras’ stripes are not always black and white.  sometimes they are black and orange


this is a giraffe

(via hotguysandpizza)


Sorry but your password must contain an upper-case letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, an emoji, a quote from an 18th century politician, six colours, the blood of a virgin and must be between 20 and 600 characters.

(via laughed)

My coworker wears a cologne so strong that when I stand near him for 4 hours I start to smell like it