tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

(via knucklepucker)

nosdrinker:

all puppies report immediately to my bedroom for naptime and cuddles

(Source: nosdrinker, via lmaopost)

split feelings like this are the worst.